[ICFabian]

The banned user’s guide; or, How not to get banned on sight because you’re a lazy twat.

Version 0.5


Greetings. I am making this small how-to in response to the recent revealing of certain banned users who have returned and whose façades were, to put it gently, shit.

Following this guide will ensure that your second account will have a longer life span than the previous. It is crucial that every step be followed with maximum attentiveness and care, placing effort into each action.


Without further ado, let’s now cast our eyes upon said list of steps. The list is arranged thus: from the most important steps, to the optional.




1. Do fucking not post in the Peanuts sub-forum.

Yes, you are quite right in thinking that there are exceptions to this rule, but those are few and far between.

Let us not forget that the reason why people visit a forum titled World of GOTHIC is because they are interested in GOTHIC, as opposed to debating world-views or the human condition. There are separate forums that discuss these subjects on the whole wide web.




2. If you are absolutely DESPERATE about posting in Peanuts BEFORE gaining a goodly number of posts from the other forums, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT post in the spam threads.

This includes: quote of the day, funny thread, what are you playing/watching/fucking/eating now, the birthday thread, and the whole array of threads whose purpose is only to increase post count.

Remember, you are a new user. You are not yet interested in post hunting. You have to build yourself an identity before wanting to strengthen it via post count increase.




3. Watch your grammar and vocabulary. This is another step of great import in your journey to forging a new identity.

Though it may sound unbelievable, there are hawk-eyed people on the forum who can tell people’s true identity via the words they use, or the grammar they employ.

This exercise requires a bit of effort. Try to scan a list of your posts, and figure what traits might topple your disguise.

Do you overuse a word? A particular sentence structure? Maybe even a smiley... Smileys can be especially problematic.

The thing here is to not move in the polar opposite. Because it’s easy to move into the other direction and then forget everything in a split second, thus ensuring another ban, and another bout of effort to build another identity. Try a fusion between a new style and your old style. Once you become confident in your abilities, try moving upwards... Knowing when to use “it’s” and “its”, and such things.





4. Try the help forums.

This is quite a useful action. Go to the help forums, either G1/2 or 3. Try something simple.

“Where can I find Lares?”
“Gothic 1 crashes at the bridge in the Sleeper’s temple, what do I do?”
“How do I get cured of possession?”

So on, so forth. Keep asking questions, but don’t overdo it. If you feel cocky, try mentioning a crack, or something illegal. This will get you a warning, but it will also place a “n00b” stamp upon your head, and such a stamp clears your way of the nasty prowling moderators. Be warned, however, this is a very risky game: when you get warned, mods might catch glimpse of your IP, thus ruining everything.




5. When browsing Gothic Discussion, try replicating a thread that already exists.

This does the same thing as the illegal post, only with fewer repercussions. Your thread will get closed, you will get labelled as a newbie who is too lazy to use the search function. This is a good thing.



6. Post in the introductory thread only when someone has directed you to it!

Again, this is a rule that is oft broken, but it’s generally better if you post in the welcome thread at the request/invitation of another, more veteran user.

Try not mentioning what country you come from. Just list some stuff about your likes, your age, what you like about Gothic, what other game genres you enjoy, what hobbies you have. And if you DO mention your country, do not mention your real name. Try some variations of the above.

Post in the welcome thread before getting posts in the other areas ONLY if you can manage a pretty intriguing personality.

*********

This concludes the list of steps, but I will mention some useful notes you should generally take heed to.

* Don’t be an ass kisser. This means acting like a goody two-shoes that defends other users. Try to either not enter the conflict, or enter it and say something that is stirring enough, but not too much -- you don’t want to be warned for trolling or provoking.

* Steer clear of the moderators. At first glance, this might seem paradoxical, but it really isn’t. If you get warned, try to get warned for small, gentle misdemeanours. Only then can you begin sucking up to moderators, in an attempt to display your contrition.

* You can only begin assailing the spam threads when you reach a comfortable post count, say, 100 posts or so.

* Should your attempts to create a successful account come to fruition, do not fritter away this opportunity by declaring your true identity. This is an asshole move that will fling you all the way back to step one.

* Don’t ever admit your true identity. Ever. Not even on Yahoo messenger.

* Do not use default avatars. These do the opposite of what they are meant to do. They do not brand you as a neophyte, but as someone who pretends too much.

* Do not post in this thread.

This is where the brief guide ends. I hope you have enjoyed this read, and that it has served you in your purposes to return to the forum.

In case of emergency, do exactly the opposite of the aforementioned guidelines.

Yours truly,
Faby.

[BlasphemousInfidel]

Great list, someone should really make it sticky.

[Maladiq]

Haha, epic win thread.

[KGS]

!! STICKY THIS THREAD PLS !!

[Yavanna]

This made my day. xD

[Sakabato]

I wonder when a certain "someone" will appear in this thread, and troll it a while. Seriousy, please do it!..I want to see your shameless spaming!

[Anastasia]

I achieved the same result without following these rules but oh well..

[Sakabato]

I wonder when a certain "someone" will appear in this thread, and troll it a while. Seriousy, please do it!..I want to see your shameless spaming!

I achieved the same result without following these rules but oh well..

Pow! Right on time!!

[KGS]

I achieved the same result without following these rules but oh well..

yes, just brag about what you (?think?) "achieved"
i just have a feeling that this will make the other people respect you more, so please continue

[Larisa]

Lol.

Reading it I had in mind some comments, additions, clarifications and suggestions. But then I realized that it won't help me one bit expressing them.

[Khaled]

Lol.

Reading it I had in mind some comments, additions, clarifications and suggestions. But then I realized that it won't help me one bit expressing them.

disadvantages of being a moderator.

As for teh thread...tear it down, delete it... If anyone sees that, my job and Ovi's too, as banned members hunters will be even harder. C'mon Faby...why didi you have to do this?

[KGS]

As for teh thread...tear it down, delete it... If anyone sees that, my job and Ovi's too, as banned members hunters will be even harder. C'mon Faby...why didi you have to do this?

do you get paid for it :P

[Dino]

This thread ist kreig. Those are some nice tips you gave there.

[kmx-]

That's definitely some worthy advice. Noted

[ICFabian]

As for teh thread...tear it down, delete it... If anyone sees that, my job and Ovi's too, as banned members hunters will be even harder. C'mon Faby...why didi you have to do this?

Oh. I was in a mood to write something. Something light-hearted.

And I have backups =D

[Maladiq]

That's definitely some worthy advice. Noted

guess who's next in line to get banned

[ICFabian]

Original post edited.

[Khaled]

@kmx-: Who are you?

Lol...this is the greatest bullshit I've ever heard/read...

[kmx-]

Those rules are kinda hard to apply. It's hard and it takes too much time to come up with ~100 posts in the Gothic Discussion section, when nowadays fewer and fewer people post there, and it mostly consists of discussions about Arcania, a subject which interests me very little.

@kmx-: Who are you?

I present myself as your average forum poster because I don't want to reveal that I belong to the Men in Black.

[ICFabian]

Those rules are kinda hard to apply. It's hard and it takes too much time to come up with ~100 posts in the Gothic Discussion section, when nowadays fewer and fewer people post there, and it mostly consists of discussions about Arcania, a subject which interests me very little.

Then it surprises no-one why you get banned. You're damn lazy.