[Dino]

What also makes me curious is if there'll be any rampage tomorrow since I already have a few erands to run. Maybe people will be eating each other's guts and mating with each other like there's no tomorrow.
Remember when I said I was gonna buy new strings for my guitar? Yeah... it's kind of not working properly and that sucks. I'll see if I can have it fixed soon. What a bummer.
But I'm ordering a bunch of books tomorrow! Yay!

*diary time*
So anyway, the semester is over and I passed it successfully.. Had to work somewhat but it turned out alright in the end.

[TudoracheMG]

I am trying to write this message from atop a bananus tree!
Edit:It worked! The bananus tree seems to offer a large variety of benefits!

[Hellbilly]

Guys.

I just learned a shocking fact.

Horses don't exist.

Horses are a type of fruit. That doesn't exist.

This changes everything.

[TudoracheMG]

They do exist on top of the bananus tree,you silly!

[Hellbilly]

I demand evidence. I am convinced of this scientific fact; nobody has ever seen a horse-fruit.

[Tratos]

The solstice passed and everything is in one piece. Better luck next time mayans!

On a brighter note, having grown my facial hair to a sufficient length I realised: half of my beard is black and the other is blond.

[TudoracheMG]

I demand evidence. I am convinced of this scientific fact; nobody has ever seen a horse-fruit.

Why don't you join me on top of the bananus tree and see for yourself?! Once you go bananus,you never go back! Also,have you ever heard of a bananus tree being scientifically documented??? I don't think so! Some things are more than we can grasp with our thoughts!

The solstice passed and everything is in one piece. Better luck next time mayans!

On a brighter note, having grown my facial hair to a sufficient length I realised: half of my beard is black and the other is blond.

You are beautiful

[Hellbilly]

I don't think so! Some things are more than we can grasp with our thoughts!

That's why God gave us hands. But I wish he'd also given us grappling toes like monkeys have.

[Maladiq]

On a brighter note, having grown my facial hair to a sufficient length I realised: half of my beard is black and the other is blond.

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Zeri0n]

*Bumps into conversation
Had an exam last night, and right after it I invited some friends to local pub. It was awesome, one thing came out wrong though, instead of 5-10 people we were around 50 because I came to a "good" idea to post invitation on our college's (our year) Facebook page. Still, it was an amazing night, we literally held 2/3 of the pub, lots of beer, mushrooms, fries, "girice" (small fish fried (not cleaned, you eat them whole, with their head, only their guts were taken out)). Right after that we ended on an after-party at collegue's place. And we survived the apocalypse \0/

So, anyone missed my ass here?

[TudoracheMG]

Everybody knows that if you surf the web long enough, you’ll see some pretty sick shit. This is especially true if you intentionally dwell into the dark underbelly of the internet. I’ve seen quite a few things I don’t care to admit to, but one thing that I’ll always remember is a site called “normalpornfornormalpeople.com”.

The first strange thing about the site was that I didn’t find it by actually looking for it. It was e-mailed to me by someone I didn’t know. The e-mail was as follows:

“Hi there

found this site is very nice thought u might like

normalpornfornormalpeople.com

pass it on, for the good of mankind”

Pretty standard issue chain letter, although the url and the last remark really piqued my curiosity. I was having a very boring day when I got this, so I made sure my anti-virus was working and then I clicked on it.

It was a very average, very generic looking site. It gave the impression that the creators just BARELY gave a shit about making it look professional. The author seemed to have a very tenuous grasp on English, and on the front page was a long, boring, and incoherent rant that I don’t remember or have saved.

The site had a strange tagline (which even today people haven’t figured out the meaning of), which was;

“Normal Porn for Normal People, A Website Dedicated To The Eradication of Abnormal Sexuality”

And from the sound of that, I wasn’t sure whether I was here to watch porn or if I had stumbled onto some kind of eugenics program. But I was here now, and I was very, very curious to see what “Normal People” get their rocks off to. So I scrolled down through the rant and…nothing. The page didn’t seem to link to anywhere else, and I was about to leave when I noticed every word of the rant was its own hyperlink.

So I clicked one of them, and was sent to a white page with very long list of links in the form of:

“normalpornfornormalpeople.com/ (random letters)”

So I stopped for a minute and asked myself if I really wanted to waste God knows how much time clicking random links that will likely give me a virus that will rape my computer. I figured I’d just try it for maybe 5 minutes, just to see if anything came up. I clicked one of the links, and was sent to another page. This page apparently had totally different urls than the last one.

I was just about to say “Fuck this” when I clicked on the 3rd link, and a video download came up. It was called “peanut.avi”. It was a 30 minute video of a man, a woman and a dog in a kitchen. The woman would make a peanut butter sandwich, and the man would set it down for the dog to eat. This was all that happened, for 30 minutes. It was obvious that the cameraman had to stop filming and wait until the dog was ready to eat again, and the dog seemed rather sick by the end of it.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell does that have to do with porn?” I have no clue. I’ve seen a little over two dozen videos from this site, and the majority had no sexual activity at all.

After watching peanut.avi, I went on a certain image board I frequent to play online show and tell, like I always do with weird shit like this. But someone had already made a thread about it, some guy who had received the same chain letter I did. The image board thread got lots of people with nothing better to do to dig through the site, and that’s how I saw other videos.

Most of those two dozen videos were very uneventful, and consisted of people talking to the cameraman in a room with nothing in it but a desk and a few chairs. I mean literally nothing on the walls, or in terms of furniture. The whole room had a very cold, sterile feel to it.

The conversations were just idle banter about previous jobs or embarrassing childhood moments. I kept expecting some kind of discussion about what the people were filming or what the site was about, but of course, nothing. You would never know these videos had anything to do with porn if you saw it out of context. I will say one thing though, the people who appeared in these videos were quite attractive.

However, the other videos that actually did feature content which I suppose could be called “sexual” is where things got weird.

I’ll give brief descriptions of the stranger videos, if you’re really eaten up with curiosity you can try to hunt them down on a torrent site.

lickedclean.avi

A 10 minute video filmed by a hidden camera in which we see a repairman working on a washing machine for the first 2 minutes. When it’s fixed, the repairman talks to the owner briefly, and then leaves. The owner checks to make sure the repairman is gone, and he begins to lick all over the top of the washing machine. This goes on for 7 minutes.

jimbo.avi

A 5 minute video of an obese mime performing his act. It was actually pretty funny, particularly one part where he pretends to pull up a chair, then pretends that it breaks because of his weight. In the last 30 seconds of the video, the camera cuts to static briefly and cuts back to the man sobbing quietly, still wearing mime outfit and makeup. Some kind of obscure fetish?

dianna.avi

4 minute video in which the camerman talks to a woman in a room different from the “interview room.” This room looks like one you’d find in a normal person’s house. Exactly where they are is never specified, as Dianna only talks about her violin playing. She obviously plays her violin, but she keeps getting distracted by something.

I didn’t notice this until someone on the image board thread pointed it out, but if you look at the mirror in the background, you can see a fat man in a chicken mask masturbating.

jessica.avi

Another 4 minute cameraman video. This time he’s outside a house, talking to another young woman. They talk about canoe rides. The camera zooms out to reveal the city streets behind them occasionally.

The strange thing is: No one so far has been able to identify where this street is. Guesses have ranged everywhere from Europe to Australia to the Philippines, but there’s yet to be a match for the street shown in the video.

tonguetied.avi

10 minute video. The first 5 minutes consist of an elderly woman making out with a mannequin. The video cuts out like it did in jimbo.avi halfway through, and the scene is now a group of mannequins huddled together in a circle around the camera. The lights have been dimmed, and the elderly woman is nowhere to be seen. From this point on, there is no sound.

stumps.avi

5 minute long video where a man with no legs is attempting to breakdance on a DDR mat in what looks like the kitchen from peanut.avi, but much dirtier. There’s a radio playing music unseen in the background, but it stops at the 4 minute mark when the man collapses on the mat in exhaustion.

He breathes heavily and pleads with someone off-screen to let him rest. This off-screen person becomes terrifyingly enraged and yells at him to keep dancing, which he does. You can hear this off-screen person begin to scream as the video ends abruptly.

privacy.avi

The woman from dianna.avi is masturbating on a mattress in the “interview room,” while the man from stumps.avi walks around on his hands while wearing some kind of goblin mask.

The door in this room was always closed in other videos, but it’s now open. In this video the only light is in the room, and the hallway is dark. Near the end of the video, you can see an animal quickly run through the hallway.

And finally the last video we uncovered: useless.avi

In this 18 minute video, a blonde woman from one of the previous interview videos is tied down to a mattress in the interview room. She attempts to scream but her mouth is taped over. After 7 minutes, a man in a black suit and mask opens the door, but he does not enter.

He holds the door open for the animal that was running in the hall in the previous video. It’s revealed to be an adult chimpanzee, its hair shaved and its entire body painted red. It seemed to be starved and abused, with several wounds along it’s shoulders and back.

When the chimp enters the room, the masked man closes the door behind it. The chimpanzee sniffs the air for a moment (it may have been blind), and notices the woman tied to the mattress. It goes into a frenzy, and begins to maul her.

The assault goes on for a grueling 7 minutes, until the woman finally dies. The chimp eats flesh from her corpse for 4 minutes as the video ends.


The thread exploded with activity after this video was uncovered, and people discussed it long into the night. When I came back to the image board the next day I found that the thread was deleted. I tried to start another one, and they banned me. I tried e-mailing the guy who sent me the chain letter with the site’s url, sent him 5 messages and never got a response.

I have tried to discuss this website on various places, and I got banned frequently. The site itself was also deleted about 3 days after useless.avi was uncovered, likely because someone contacted the authorities about it.

The only proof that normalpornfornormalpeople.com ever existed was a few screencaps people took, and videos from the site that people saved and uploaded on torrents. The most popular of which being useless.avi, which found its way onto a few gore sites.

Wherever you upload them to, all of the videos from normalpornfornormalpeople.com get deleted after a while.

[Bastardo]

Sick copypasting skills you got there, dude.

Anyway, I've seen worse shit with my own eyes on random uncensored video sharing sites, I'm afraid a chimp eating a victim of battery murder wouldn't even make it in my top 10. Some of those come from aired news footage.

[TudoracheMG]

Dead Bart

You know how Fox has a weird way of counting Simpsons episodes? They refuse to count a couple of them, making the amount of episodes inconsistent. The reason for this is a lost episode from season 1.

Finding details about this missing episode is difficult, no one who was working on the show at the time likes to talk about it. From what has been pieced together, the lost episode was written entirely by Matt Groening. During production of the first season, Matt started to act strangely. He was very quiet, seemed nervous and morbid. Mentioning this to anyone who was present results in them
getting very angry, and forbidding you to ever mention it to Matt.I first heard of it at an event where David Silverman was speaking. Someone in the crowd asked about the episode, and Silverman simply left the stage, ending the presentation hours early. The episode’s production number was 7G06, the title was Dead Bart. The episode labeled 7G06, Moaning Lisa, was made later and given Dead Bart’s production code to hide the latter’s existence.

In addition to getting angry, asking anyone who was on the show about this will cause them to do everything they can to stop you from directly communicating with Matt Groening. At a fan event, I managed to follow him after he spoke to the crowd, and eventually had a chance to talk to him alone as he was leaving the building. He didn’t seem upset that I had followed him, probably expected a typical encounter with an obsessive fan. When I mentioned the lost episode though, all color drained from his face and he started trembling. When I asked him if he could tell me any details, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and handed it to me. He begged me never to mention the episode again.

The piece of paper had a website address on it, I would rather not say what it was, for reasons you’ll see in a second. I entered the address into my browser, and I came to a site that was completely black, except for a line of yellow text, a download link. I clicked on it, and a file started downloading. Once the file was downloaded, my computer went crazy, it was the worst virus I had ever seen. System restore didn’t work, the entire computer had to be rebooted. Before doing this though, I copied the file onto a CD. I tried to open it on my now empty computer, and as I suspected, there was an episode of The Simpsons on it.

The episode started off like any other episode, but had very poor quality animation. If you’ve seen the original animation for Some Enchanted Evening, it was similar, but less stable. The first act was fairly normal, but the way the characters acted was a little off. Homer seemed angrier, Marge seemed depressed, Lisa seemed anxious, Bart seemed to have genuine anger and hatred for his parents.

The episode was about the Simpsons going on a plane trip, near the end of the first act, the plane was taking off. Bart was fooling around, as you’d expect. However, as the plane was about 50 feet off the ground, Bart broke a window on the plane and was sucked out.

At the beginning of the series, Matt had an idea that the animated style of the Simpsons’ world represented life, and that death turned things more realistic. This was used in this episode. The picture of Bart’s corpse was barely recognizable, they took full advantage of it not having to move, and made an almost photo-realistic drawing of his dead body.

Act one ended with the shot of Bart’s corpse. When act two started, Homer, Marge, and Lisa were sitting at their table, crying. The crying went on and on, it got more pained, and sounded more realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The animation started to decay even more as they cried, and you could hear murmuring in the background. The characters could barely be made out, they were stretching and blurring, they looked like deformed shadows with random bright colors thrown on them.

There were faces looking in the window, flashing in and out so you were never sure what they looked like.

This crying went on for all of act two.

Act three opened with a title card saying one year had passed. Homer, Marge, and Lisa were skeletally thin, and still sitting at the table. There was no sign of Maggie or the pets.

They decided to visit Bart’s grave. Springfield was completely deserted, and as they walked to the cemetery the houses became more and more decrepit. They all looked abandoned. When they got to the grave, Bart’s body was just lying in front of his tombstone, looking just like it did at the end of act one.

The family started crying again. Eventually they stopped, and just stared at Bart’s body. The camera zoomed in on Homer’s face. According to summaries, Homer tells a joke at this part, but it isn’t audible in the version I saw, you can’t tell what Homer is saying.

The view zoomed out as the episode came to a close. The tombstones in the background had the names of every Simpsons guest star on them. Some that no one had heard of in 1989, some that haven’t been on the show yet. All of them had death dates on them.

For guests who died since, like Michael Jackson and George Harrison, the dates were when they would die. The credits were completely silent, and seemed handwritten. The final image was the Simpson family on their couch, like in the intros, but all drawn in hyper realistic, lifeless style of Bart’s corpse.

A thought occurred to me after seeing the episode for the first time, you could try to use the tombstones to predict the death of living Simpsons guest stars, but there’s something odd about most of the ones who haven’t died yet.

All of their deaths are listed as the same date.

[Dino]

*Bumps into conversation
Had an exam last night, and right after it I invited some friends to local pub. It was awesome, one thing came out wrong though, instead of 5-10 people we were around 50 because I came to a "good" idea to post invitation on our college's (our year) Facebook page. Still, it was an amazing night, we literally held 2/3 of the pub, lots of beer, mushrooms, fries, "girice" (small fish fried (not cleaned, you eat them whole, with their head, only their guts were taken out)). Right after that we ended on an after-party at collegue's place. And we survived the apocalypse \0/

So, anyone missed my ass here?

Hey! Sounds like fun
We celebrated our semester's end in some bar... I can't complain. Loads of beer and loads of wine.

[Bastardo]

I think I'm suffering from premature ejaculation of topics lately.

[Zeri0n]

Hey! Sounds like fun
We celebrated our semester's end in some bar... I can't complain. Loads of beer and loads of wine.

Whatever you do, the most important thing is: do it with your friends and it will be a night to remember

[Dino]

Yeah. We have this uhm... "student's day" on december the 8th. We had an awesome party at a cabin in the mountains. I think I mentioned it. It was spectacular

[Zeri0n]

Yeah, you are right, now I remember


I would post this in "What are you listening now" thread but my PC is whoring while trying to load so many videos.
[Video]

[TudoracheMG]

Would you guys like me to post more long ass creepypastas?

[Zeri0n]

Would you guys like me to post more long ass creepypastas?

If you stick them up URANUS and they go the other way out, then yes