[Gor_Na_Drak]

Welcome to the 3rd thread in the Skyrim series.

Previous thread can be found here.

Knock yourselves out.

[Nisarg]

Did they also copy some PB features such as large and illogical polycount differences*? I hope not.

*By this, I mean something like a small bottle having a lot more polygons than a large cauldron, and some barrels having about 6 times more polygons than other barrels.

[Hellbilly]

That's not to say there's a lack of challenge in this game.

Indeed not. Fighting even slightly bigger groups of Falmer is hazardous at least for a ranged/melee character when they swarm you and beat you to a pulp in no time. And bandit groups can still be challenging, now that the level scaling puts one or two Bandit Thugs amongst them; but the level scaling seems to be pretty sensible... you still encounter the weaker foe types, but the likelihood of encountering tougher enemies is slightly bigger. Pretty much like Morrowind or the new Fallouts, in other words, where the level scaling wasn't a source for complaints for me, at least.

[ICFabian]

Not counting bears, trolls, ice trolls, necromancers, hagravens, and so on.

[Hellbilly]

Indeed. Except for bears; for a sneak-oriented character with good archery skills, bears aren't that hard. They don't seem to be too perceptive and therefore do not detect sneaking characters all that well.

[TudoracheMG]

Dual casting destruction spells+the perk that makes enemies stagger=enemies never get to attack you

[Dino]

I wouldn't call the game easy. I died like 10 times trying to kill a single novice ice mage... or was it fire? I don't know but damn, once they get hold of me I die in seconds.

There are annoying bugs though. Liek sometimes when I try to sneak up on an enemy and fire an arrow it just goes straight through him or it's blocked in mid-air because I was trying to shoot from behind cover. It's like you can't shoot from the edge of a corner - the arrow will just hit the air and fall flat dead the moment you shoot it. That often pisses me off and I have to reload.

And the uhm... climbing? It's just riduculous. I can run on 80 degree angles like a marathon runner no problem. That doesn't even make sense.

But all in all the game is a lot of fun.

[Tratos]

Vampirism is weird. Ok, so they lost the annoying yet realistic sun damage, but instead removed stat regen and put a grave penalty on the stats? I understand about the regen thing, but why remove HPs from a vampire? If anything, shouldn't vampirism make one physically stronger at the cost of vulnerability to fire and change of appearance? Weird.

[Onisuzume]

Maybe you didn't suck up enough blood?
Either that, or you're 14th/15th generation.
In which case I'd either load an older save and look for a better Sire, or Diablerize one of higher generation (including your current Sire).

[JerrodAmolyan]

Well to start with, I've spent 70+ hours now with the game, and I have a pretty good view of what it is.

First of all, we have this magnifficent looking graphics and panoramic views. Sadly I must say, that's about it.

Spoiler:(zum lesen bitte Text markieren)

The puzzles in the dungeons are just idiot-proof, since you can see the solution to them plainly, like with the turningstones, and you can see the pictures in the correct order on a wall, or some "cleverly" on the ground. It takes average intelligent beings about 2 seconds to figure out, and you're done to go through that door. If no graverobber in skyrim has ever ransacked a tomb, that is so goddamn simply protected, I must say, then it is pretty much true that nords are meadswilling barbarians.

Once again bethesda's ideal of "difficulty level scaling" or whatever they want to call it, that you can change the difficulty setting, doesn't fail to amuse me in it's simplicity. The harder you choose the game to be, the only thing that REALLY changes, is the monster damage and hitpoints. No talk even, about AI improving for the monster/bandit/DRAGON............................the most ancient, evil, intelligent, all-wise being (Not to mention the most DANGEROUS and the BIGGEST mythical being there is.)

Now to the thing, that in my opinion, is one of the most crucial part of an RPG leveling mechanics, and adds to the general feel of actually advancing your character through training and hard work. To the attributes:
...
I rest my case in that area. Since the three dots explain the "Attribute" system as it actually is, which is nonexistent, there are no attributes whatsoever. I think this sucks in the game the most.

Now we come to "the combat" part, which I'm sure, most of you like as it is.
You might have also guessed it already, that I would not like it. Ever. It is even more simpler than in Oblivion (Leveling your combat skills does not give you new kinds of attacks visually, and doesn't change anything at all in your controls.) Although even I have to admit, that it -looks- good, and the cutscenes where you finish your foe with a deadly thrust-through swordstab, or cleave off your foe's head, look darned good, and are a very nice add to the general feel of the world, your character, the game in general, and actually manage to save the combat system to the level of "Meh." I miss the Gothic 1 and 2 combat system, where you're actually in control of your own weapon, and you have to keep blocking simultaneously, instead of just retardedly hold down block, and then spam left click. Archery is fucked up completely in Skyrim. You nolonger have to count the angles with which you have to aim. The arrow flies almost straight. You just aim straight at the guy with your crosshair and you hit. It's a fricken snipergun. (Ofcourse you can remove the crosshair to get more out of it, but what's the use? It still is retardedly easy. Oblivion's archery was awesome, because you actually had to aim, even with the crosshair)

Spoiler:(zum lesen bitte Text markieren)

Also, to me it makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER, and NEVER WILL IN ANY OTHER LIFE OR WORLD, that you can slay a damn DRAGON (I quote myself from up there: The most ancient the most ancient, evil, intelligent, all-wise being, Not to mention the most DANGEROUS and the BIGGEST mythical being there is.) at level 3. And after that it's Dragonslaughterfestival. Once you can do this "Shouting" thingie, which I think is ridiculous stuff anyway, you're near a damn Demi-god.

The voiceacting in this game again, in my opinion, leaves room to wish. The guards sound alot too bored and dead when you've murdered people, and get caught, for example. Plus the fact that murdering is so cheap in skyrim (20 gp for one murder), it makes me actually want to live there. If I don't like someone's mug, I'll just stab him to death and toss 20€ paper to the guards and Yawn at it all. And then I would be completely erased from criminal records, and people are friendly again. There's no fame/infame system, as the previous games had, which was partly what made the previous games so fun, people don't really understand you're evil, until you join an evil faction, I think. (Dark Brotherhood)

Short mention also: The game has so many bugs, that I can't think of any other game that had as many bugs and glitches at the release. (Actually I can think of one, and that was Arcania 1[To some known as Gothic 3] Arcania 2[Gothic 4] which by the way, is hauntingly alike to this game with it's Graphics as priority 1 and all the other useless stuff, like "Plot" and "Interesting game world" (I mean, who needs those, riiiiiight?) as priority somewhere at 10.)

Now we get to the part where the "Game for retards" really shines IMHO: Quests.
And this'll be marked as a spoiler for a good reason, don't read unless you're prepared to read something you may or may not have played through yet, Unless you hate the game. If you like the game, And have not played through "Companions" after quest no. 4, don't open this:

Spoiler:(zum lesen bitte Text markieren)

I played the "Companions" guild for sometime, but I quit that for the time being, since I found it seriously retarded. You join, first quest you deliver a sword for sharpening, second quest you deliver a shield to some random woman (Fighter women, ew, cliche. Gothic II women tend to their stoves <3 That's not a cliche today.), quest no. 3: As you have delivered the crap so valiantly to their rightful owners and demanded no rewards, you are now as trusted as a full member among the companions. So you get to adventure (Which is all fine and dandy, BUT!), as your first adventure (Practically you are some random dude who just started and can hardly wield a sword.) you set out with an important member of the faction. You set out to do something that's VERY, with a huge emphasis on VERY, important to the guild. Namely, you search for a fragment of their -sacred- weapon, Wuuthrad. Well that's still "okay, a bit like really hasty but okay...". Finishing that quest, you're let inside the quilds DARKEST and most FEARED secrets, namely, you learn the circle is werewolves? So soon? That is retarded as hell. All the fun is stripped away by reducing the amount of roleplay and hard work you have to do to achieve these things. And this is where I left the whole storyline rest, I am appalled at it all now.

And continuing the reason of why it's for retards, are the EVEN more clear quest markers. Now instead of just seeing the marker in your compass, the marker flies around ingame, ontop of your object. Also, you're given a quest: "No one knows where this person X is, but could you help person D to find X?" and a marker appears... Like a quiding hand of GOD. You are pointed to the exact bush in the exact spot of the world, even though no-one knows where he is, where your object is hiding. Damn those simple enough for a complete retard to understand style of quests. No detective's work needed, no need to ask around where to find person X, you just KNOW, he's in that exact bush. This asking around and doing actual work to find things that are important, was exactly one of the things that were awesome about Gothic games. So yeah, the quests are really simple enough, for a small child to understand. I feel personally that my intelligence has once again been offended with this, since the game developers seem to think all of us are complete imbecile, amebabrains. And most of the sidequests that you can get, are "Go there, kill someone, claim reward" I've done atleast 20 of those now. It seems as if the world didn't get much thought put in it at all, all the time went into wanking and fapping for the graphics improving.
Also, most of the time, you can't refuse given quests. If you ask about "What kind of work" mostly you get to say "Okay I'm in". No "Find another person to fool. I'm out." option. To some quests you can say "Later." but you can't outright refuse.

Now we get to the parts which save the game completely: One handed weapons are carried CORRECTLY on your belt, axes on your right hip, which amazes me, that they actually know they ARE carried such, Swords on your left side, and twohanders on your back (Even though that's not correct if you want to draw the weapon quickly in combat.) People actually DO THE WORK THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. Blacksmith's forge, woodcutters and millers do their jobs, barkeepers polish tankards and so forth. And you can craft aswell, now this is an awesome addition to the game, it really saves alot, even though it's pretty simple aswell, and they've fucked up the repairing of things (oh you don't have to repair anything either, because weapons are eternal. right.) But crafting is awesome to have in an RPG. and YOU can cut firewood with axes, mine rocks for minerals and jewels. Even though I must say the interactive functions are smelling heavily of Gothicripoffing. Just saying. And as I've said earlier, the cutscenes in combat are awesome, and the panoramic views are marvelous. (Also, I kinda like the way they took back the real Imperial guard's roman look. Made me happy. In oblivion they were some weird Spartan/greek/knights.)
And cooking is fun too btw. Even though food is useless still. Also alchemy is much improved. And magical weapon's crafting's better than in oblivion.

Now to the last "rage" of my review is the narrowing down choices of equipment, AGAIN.

Weapons list: Magic staff, Bows(No crossbow.), Sword(No short sword? What the f-), Dagger, Warhammer, Greatsword, Mace, Battleaxe, Waraxe. No polearms, No shortswords, No crossbows.

Also, they made there be even less armour/clothing parts. You get Hands, Head, Feet, Chest. No pants, pauldrons. No different shieldtypes. Just 1 per material.


All in all I haven't quite decided if I really hate this game, or Like it. I still play it all the time, and enjoy some things in it (Like the free exploring), On a rating from 0 - 10 I'd rate this game 4-5 via this experience.
That's all there really is to it, that I have to say, Hate me if you wish, I don't really care, But I hope that some people who are still wondering wether or not to buy the game, or wait until new ones, this helps in making the decision "Is it worth 40€ / 50$ ?"

If you found yourself reading the whole damn thing through, I thank you for actually bothering to. And even more so, if you bothered to answer.

ps. I really miss the good old times when story, combat mechanics, characters (even the small side characters) Were thought through, and all the stuff that actually matters, which by no means includes graphics, even though most of today's kids think the contrary, ALL of that, it was carefully thought through BEFORE starting to make the gameworld. Doing the graphics first, and the plotline given 2 hours on a drunken saturday night of thought, leaves the gameworld dead and boring. I miss the thrills I got from actually playing a game that had a point in it, like gothics 1 and 2.

[addo]

I think you are too harsh. It deserves more than 4-5 out of ten. I believe the exploration, graphics and the fact that there are dragons in the game at least give this game a 5.

[JerrodAmolyan]

@addo: This was -my- opinion and review of the whole game sofar. You are very entitled to your very own opinion. But 5 is the most I would give out of ten. In my opinion, a game with insanely awesome storyline, lots of choices and a wide variety of skills to master (Hold it! Not master all of them ofcourse, you could only master a few, like in gothics.) Attribute distributing system with sense in it, lots of different weapons and armor and clothing. Stuff in general. Interesting side-quests and less linear plot altogether, but shit graphics, is 8-9 /10

[Hellbilly]

Jesus doesn't like Skyrim

[Bastardo]

Jesus doesn't like Skyrim

What a delightfully Poe site and article.

demonic grail of violent dragon porn

The stuff of legends!

[Hellbilly]

There's a Skyrim-review on that site as well which also contains many memorable quotes. However, I found the graphs at the end of this article to be so illustrative that I decided to link it instead.

[TudoracheMG]

Dragons have got round and firm asses

[ICFabian]

Dragons have got round and firm asses

MMMmmmm I ship AlduinxPaarthurnaxxDovahkiin. Interracial, gay, dragon on dragon on man love.

[Maladiq]

Jesus doesn't like Skyrim

Lol, though the satire is a bit too excessive. Would have been nice to have a less excessive tone, to let people wondering.

[Hellbilly]

Lol, though the satire is a bit too excessive. Would have been nice to have a less excessive tone, to let people wondering.

I dunno. It's not that excessive when you compare to the totally serious stuff by people like Texe Marrs and other christian fundamentalist nutjobs. (This guy was on a crusade against My Little Pony toys in the 80's because of the Satanic Occult Wiccan signs on their buttocks)

I like the added details like getting the publisher/dev wrong and the totally off the mark genre description.

[Mage Master]

Now we come to "the combat" part, which I'm sure, most of you like as it is.
You might have also guessed it already, that I would not like it. Ever. It is even more simpler than in Oblivion (Leveling your combat skills does not give you new kinds of attacks visually, and doesn't change anything at all in your controls.) Although even I have to admit, that it -looks- good, and the cutscenes where you finish your foe with a deadly thrust-through swordstab, or cleave off your foe's head, look darned good, and are a very nice add to the general feel of the world, your character, the game in general, and actually manage to save the combat system to the level of "Meh." I miss the Gothic 1 and 2 combat system, where you're actually in control of your own weapon, and you have to keep blocking simultaneously, instead of just retardedly hold down block, and then spam left click. Archery is fucked up completely in Skyrim. You nolonger have to count the angles with which you have to aim. The arrow flies almost straight. You just aim straight at the guy with your crosshair and you hit. It's a fricken snipergun. (Ofcourse you can remove the crosshair to get more out of it, but what's the use? It still is retardedly easy. Oblivion's archery was awesome, because you actually had to aim, even with the crosshair)

I don't think that's the case. In oblivion the combat felt like it had no weight, like all your doing is spamming a button and hope that the enemy dies before you. In skyrim I actually feel like I'm doing something. And also the bow isn't shooting straight forward like a gun. have you tried to shoot at an enemy that's far away, or at one that's moving left or right? First the arrow goes alitle bit above the crosshair than in goes down, if you don't trust me try shooting right in the eye of a dead bear or something.

Jesus doesn't like Skyrim

I only read the title. What??? skyrim teaches you to be a gay porn star? maybe it's a side quest.
But seriously, how can ppl talk bullshit like that. I can never understand it.