[Story] The Fall of Jharkendar

[adrian93]

It was night,in the temple of Adanos where a mighty warrior prince named Quarhadron was prayng a messanger suddenly arrived panicked.
Messanger:"My prince we have detected an army of demons coming to Jharkendar."
Quarhadron:"The prophet's were right then."
The prince went to his castle at his wife.
Quarhodron:"How is our son doing?"
Wife:"He is sleeping."
In a baby bed lied the son Quarhadron.
Quarhadron:"We shall name him Rhademes."
The second day in the throne room.........
Soldier:"SIR!The army of demons is close to the city!"
Quarhadron:"SOUND THE ALARM!I shall get my sword."
Quarhadron had the mighty claw of Beliar in his hands.
The battle started.
The demons almost killed half of Quarhadron's army but with a mighty prayer to Adanos half of the army of demons was also killed.
Quarhadron:"FOR ADANOS!"
Quarhadrn killed 10 demons,the demons started to retreat but the archers made short work of the remaining demons.
The army returnet home to rest.
But Quarhadron didn't knowed that one of his own will betray him....
To be continued.
Post your opinions please.

[Fnoop]

It's nice, again a good idea about the story, but you should try to make it more interesting by writing more details about the battles. That would make the story a lot better and more attractive ;)

[adrian93]

Opinions please

[WernerTWC]

Opinions please
Well,... i personally stopped giving opinions to every single part (this is for every story), because i would repeat myself too often.
Like in this case ;) : Nice again, but also a little short! :p
But be sure i read them all, ... and i think i am not alone with that! :)

[rockfest]

But be sure i read them all, ... and i think i am not alone with that!

Nope. You're not :D
The same here...i won't post at every story my impressions but i do read them. And the others are saying exactly what i wanna say. ;)

Ps : Great one aditu :)

[adrian93]

But if i post parts you know without any coments i'l be doing spams.

[Fnoop]

Well,... i personally stopped giving opinions to every single part (this is for every story), because i would repeat myself too often.
Like in this case ;) : Nice again, but also a little short! :p
But be sure i read them all, ... and i think i am not alone with that! :)
Well you are right but it is nice to write something about the parts if you like them ;) I hope you will comment my story once I'm finished..
@aditu: You won't be spamming if you post two parts one after another, naturally it's better to wait for some comments but to write 'opinions please' looks more like spam than put the next part on. Just continue and do your best and you will see, the results will be nice ;)

[adrian93]

18 years have passed since Quarhadron's son was born,he was now mature.
Quarhadron:"Son it's time for training."
Rhademes:"But father,i want to rest i'm tired!"
Quarhadron:(angry)"I DON'T CARE!IF WE ARE ATACKED AGAIN WE NEED EVERY MAN TO HELP US IN BATTLE!"
Rhademes:"Alright father i shall go to the training room."
Quarhadron:"My son you shall be Jharkendar's ruler when i am going to die,you shall be the one who will bear the claw in battle."
The day passed peacefully but the second day.......
Jharkendar sentinel:"What is that?OH NO!SOUND THE ALARM WE ARE UNDER ATACK !"
Quarhadron:"TO ARMS MY BROTHERS!"
Rhademes:"Let me come with you!"
Quarhadron:"You are not strong enough....."
Rhademes:"I have been prepared for this day i shall not dissapoint you!"
Quarhadron:"All right son "
Rhademes received the best armor in sword in Jharkendar.And the army went once again to battle.
The battle started,Quarhadron atacked the enemy armyes general the dueled quarhadron tried to cut the generals head with a strike but the general dodged the hit and stroke Quarhadron's chest with his sword but Quarhadron's armor was magic and survived the hit Quarhadron wanted to implae the general but the general dodged the hit so the general wanted hit
Quarhadron,but he escaped.
The two were face to face.
General:"Finnaly i meet a worthy oponent!"
Quarhadron:"You are the most weak enemy i ever battled."
General:"So you bear the mighty claw do you think i care?"
The general grabed Quarhadron's neck and started to grip him.
Rhademes who battled an elite soldier .
Rhademes:"FATHER!"
The elite soldier charged at Rhademes who fell to the ground.
elite soldier:"haha!You are the most pathetic enemy i had!"
Rhademes:"DIE!"
Rhademes jumped from the ground and with his sword he cut the soldiers head.
He ranned towards the general he jumps and impales the general who didn't saw him.
The army of Jharkendar almost wonned the battle.
Rhademes suddenly became cruel and killed many enemy soldiers with cruelty!
Quarhadron:"He fight's with such hatred...."
The army winned but with some casualties.
Quarhadron removed the generals helmet.
Quarhadron:"What kind of demons are these?"
To be continued.

[adrian93]

That smilie up there is an error.

[Fnoop]

Nice story. It's good that you started to write more details about particular fights. I like it, makes everything more interesting :)

[WernerTWC]

Yeah, the writing becomes better! :) :A


That smilie up there is an error.
You can edit it out of your post, that smily is because you wrote the : ( without a space between, this causes a :( - smiley.

[adrian93]

Quarhadron:"What kind of demons are these?"
Battle mage:"I shall search for their kind in our books."
Qurhadron headed for his son to ask him...
Quarhadron:"You fought with great hate my son..."
Rhademes:"They were our enemy!They deserved to die."
the army returned home victorious.
Quarhadron started a celebration for defeating the enemy army.
Quarhadron:"Long live Jharkendar.!"
But Rhademes was not present there.
Quarhadron:"I wonder where Rhademes is."
Rhademes was training in his training room.
Quarhadron:"My son leave the training,for now let's celebrate our victory."
Rhademes:"I can't one i will the prince of Jharkendar and i will have to defend the city!So Leave me alone?"
Quarhadron left
Rhademes*to himself*Soon old man you will not be a prince anymore,soon i will lead Jharkendar."
The second day Quarhadron went to talk with the priest to see if he found out something about those demons.
Quarhadron:"What have you found out?"
Priest:"These demons were known as the daedra,an ancient horde of demons that came from the land of Oblivion itself!It is sayd that they opened portals to come to our world but as far as i know these portals were closed a long time ago!"
Quarhadron:"Who were theyr leader?"
Priest:"Well they had sixteen kings each with his own oblivion plain.It is also sayd that one of theyr leaders names Mehrunes Dagon came to our world but was defeated."
Quargadron:"what about theyr other leaders?"
Priest:"They were also defeated ?"
Quarhadron:"Then who is leading them now?"
Priest:"I don't know"
Quarhadron:"I will let studie the daedra more.I will talk to my son now."
But Rhademes was gone.......
To be continued.

[WernerTWC]

Now, this is kinda "courageous" to open Oblivion gates in the gothic world! :D ;)
Anyway,... nice story-turn! :)

[snakefaster]

When is new part going out:confused: :confused: :confused: